please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
