Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize