You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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