youre lurking in front of me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
