am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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