shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Damn victory sex feels great
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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