We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
