My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
