xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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