I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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