If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
