why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
