Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize