I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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