im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
