You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize