In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
