A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize