I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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