I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
