Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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