Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
