that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
