If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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