well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
