Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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