He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sex in a hospital.. check
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
