Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
