ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
