yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
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Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity