sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?