wanna go halves on a baby?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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