9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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