dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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