i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Pants are for mortals
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
