apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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