you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize