just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
