I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize