after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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