Can Purell be used as lube?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
high people should be assigned attendants
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
