If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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