Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize