Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize