I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
