I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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