i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
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I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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