Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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