she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
