Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
