cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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