Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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