The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
