I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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