whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize