In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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