She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
